About 22% of women suffer from Postpartum depression every year in India, and yet, there is a lack of requisite awareness about it. As seen in most cases, women are not even aware of the condition they’re suffering from and this is one of the major reasons why they don’t seek treatment for the same. One such case was of Dr. Preeti Bhadouria, who suffered from PPD not once but twice. In a conversation with Project Pratinava, she described how her postpartum depression triggered and how she dealt with it.
"I was only 22 when I got married. I was in college at that time but had to drop out, and that’s why I couldn’t complete my Master's degree at that time. When I got married, I knew I had to adjust my lifestyle according to my in-laws but I always wanted to pursue my further education & make a career. After completing my B. Ed with my family’s support, my husband and I mutually decided to become parents".
"My first pregnancy was in 2005, and I remember how I was pampered by everyone around me. Those were the happiest 9 months of my life. I could see how happy my in-laws were with this news, as they all were expecting a boy. Although much to their disappointment, my first child was a daughter and arrived in May 2005. Instead of being happy, my first thought post-delivery was how the family would react. They didn’t seem to be happy, neither did they celebrate, and at that moment I believe my PPD took inception. When you’re a new mother, you expect your family to shower you and your child with love and care, but the environment was so negative around me, that I was gradually slipping into depression. After a few days, everyone had come to terms that I gave birth to a girl. Everything started to normalize in the family but my mental health was deteriorating day by day".
"I felt no happiness for becoming a mother, there were frequent episodes of crying, and I felt weak as if I had no energy left in me. I thought there won’t be any end to this. I would feel restless & nervous all the time, and my hands & feet would shiver. I was constantly questioning my decision of becoming a mother, I felt suffocated. I was finding it difficult to explain to my husband what I was going through, mainly because I wasn’t able to understand it myself".
"My mother decided to take me home with her, she provided me with the care and affection I needed. Changing my environment also made me feel better, and it was during this time that I decided to get back to my studies. I pursued my Master’s from which I had dropped out before marriage. This had a positive impact on my mental health, as I found a new goal in my life which helped me gradually come out of depression during the first instance".
“During the second instance i.e post the birth of my second daughter, all those thoughts and feelings reappeared as if I was reliving it all over again. But thankfully, it wasn’t as much worse as the first time yet, so I decided to talk to someone about it. I shared it with my physician who described my symptoms to be similar to the symptoms of PPD and advised me to consult a Mental Health Professional. So, I reached out to a Psychiatrist, who immediately decided to put me on a heavy dose of medications. To be honest, I got terrified, I didn’t feel like taking the treatment, as it could have an impact on my little daughter and her care”.
“I consider myself very lucky that I could eventually overcome my postpartum depression with the support of my family and by pursuing my further studies. I completed my Ph.D. a few years after the birth of my second daughter and became a professor which not only helped me gain the confidence I had lost over these years but also helped me heal and return to normalcy”.
Dr. Bhadouria's story serves as a prominent example of what PPD can be like. Although she never took any professional help, she strongly stresses its importance. She recalled, “I wish I had found a good therapist around me, who could help me overcome my depression through therapy and without putting me on heavy medications”.
- Nivedita Rajawat (For Project Pratinava)
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